You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
