drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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