I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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