just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Small penises have feelings too.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
