The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize