Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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