I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
