Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
