Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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