You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
