Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we're making bets on your personal life
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
