They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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