Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
