would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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