at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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