I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize