Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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