I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
