Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize