You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Randomize
