plz talk dirty to me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
