they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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