Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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