Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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