I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
