Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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