i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize