Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
