How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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