so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
In other news, I just burned my penis
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
