Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
