The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
