You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
