So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
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