I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
