We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
