We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
