Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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