Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
