she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She's the barista slut.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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