Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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