How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
