Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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