Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
