I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
