There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
