Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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