I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
