Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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