bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He shit in the fireplace
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
