Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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