i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
