For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize