Soap is not a condiment
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We need a shit load of segways right now
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
