once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
