i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
