I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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