I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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