Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
