is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
