How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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