Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize