big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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