is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
