that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize