you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
