This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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