i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize