I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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