just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
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