ADVERTISEMENT

• (630): View more from Illinois

  do you know how bad I want you right now?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  As bad as i want you to stop texting me?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  is that a hint?

  Fav 11 1095 3632

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.

  Fav 27 939 2699

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.

  Fav 21 709 3108

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?

  Fav 94 4830 1670

  share tweet
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...

  Fav 6 3518 976

  share tweet
  

• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high

  Fav 24 5206 1218

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (281): View more from Texas

  I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body

  Fav 17 3614 1250

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...

  Fav 8 2998 1072

  share tweet
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand

  Fav 6 1652 1573

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.

  Fav 2 1100 2061

  share tweet
  

• (620): View more from Kansas

  So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.

  Fav 8 817 2140

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (347): View more from New York

  Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.

  Fav 0 766 555

  share tweet
  

• (931): View more from Tennessee

  All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .

  Fav 4 736 569

  share tweet
  

• (641): View more from Iowa

  he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.

  Fav 2 118 18

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (858): View more from California

  I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight

  Fav 0 26 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize