I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
