Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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