Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
