If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
