he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
